My visiting teachers came to visit me today. They are very fun and very nice. They are both about my age and one has a daughter that was born just a couple months after Brielle. I love getting to chat with them and become better friends with them, but today when they left I felt kind of confused and sad.
They were asking me how I was doing and I said great. We talked about Brielle and the things that we do together. Then Carrie (who is the one with a baby girl also and continues to sell real estate) asked, "Ok, well besides taking care of Brielle, what do you do for yourself?" I didn't really have an answer. I go walking/running for me, but Brie is with me. I read, but after Brie goes to bed. I spend a lot of time on my calling in the Relief Society, but that is not necessarily for me. We go out and we go on trips and we seem to be filling our time with fun things, but Brie is always a part of them. I felt like I should have an answer of something that I am doing JUST for ME. And felt bad that I didn't.
I've continued to think about it though and I'm starting to not feel bad about it. I have waited and prayed for and dreamed of and hoped for and wanted these days of me getting to be a mom and just take care of my child for a long time. I am so glad it is here. I don't feel like I need anything else. I've had time for just me and being a mom to Brielle is SOOOOO much more important and fulfilling and fun.
There may come a point when I need to do something that is just for me though. Are there things that you do that are just for you, beyond raising your children and taking care of your husband, that help to fulfill you or just help you enjoy life more?
9 comments:
I think being a Mother and Wife is what you are doing for yourself. I also think that time spent running or reading scriptures is for yourself. I do think everyone needs some time each day when no one is demanding anything of them, that's why I went running; to think and meditate. But it still counts as time for yourself if you use the time that Brielle and Scott don't need you.
I don't see how continuing to work outside of the home helps you get time for yourself, it just spreads you thinner.
It is now, when the family has gotten smaller and I have all the time for myself that I can stand, that I am wondering what I should do next. I am looking for areas of service, which I will do for myself. The scriptures say, everything has a season. Now is your season to give. Too much self becomes selfish.
I feel like I could have written this exact thing. The other day the Relief Society presidency came over for their welcome visit and they asked me what my hobbies were and I had no idea. During school i just did school, and now I take care of Aiden, so I don't know what my hobbies are. But, I started this class that is one evening a week and I absolutely love it. It's nice to leave Aiden with Landon and have one night that is mine and go somewhere where I'm just Sarah, not Aiden's mom or Landon's wife. I bet you could find something like that at the U. Anyway, it works for me.
You are doing something for yourself by preparing for the future. Spending time with Brielle today will pay off when she is a teenager or dating or away at school or getting married. You will have helped her develop healthy life styles and high standards so that later on you will not have to worry about her. She will know how to make good choices for her own happiness as well as for you and Scott as her parents. The time goes so FAST. Enjoy every minute of her childhood years so you'll have no regrets later on when you have all the time you need for just yourself.
I love what Rama said. Thank you for that insight, Rama
From the time I had Steven I have been doing exactly what you are doing. Everything is with the baby and then the babies. I think it is exactly where you should be, and if you are happy why would you go looking for something else to do that just may complicate your life. When I need alone time I ask Steve to take the kids on a Saturday and I go shopping with myself or with a friend to flea markets or something and I am in heaven. But I only take it when I need it, not just to have time alone. I also feel like the things I do after the kids go to bed is my alone time. That is probably why I go to bed so late. :) I have from 8:30 til whenever to cross stitch, blog, excercise on my stair stepper, whatever. I choose not to clean all evening like some of my friends do because then "my time" is gone. So just keep on doing what makes you happy. You will be asking for alone time a lot more with 3, so just enjoy your time with 1. :)
Alica, As you know I work. Like I have always said you are so lucky to be able to stay at home. Not every one can stay home with the children. So I have to work extra hard to fit everything into the time spent with Jazlyn. Couple weeks ago I got a taste of what it would be like to stay home and only worry about Jazlyn. I LOVED IT! I did not want to go back to work, but we continue to try and work thing out so one day I can stay home, when future children come into my life. Either way I understand we all need us time. So that's why you need to call me so we can do dinner again...
As a single man, I can safely say that everything I do is for myself. All of creation exists merely for my amusement.
Hi Alicia,
Had to enter into this one. What you are doing now IS for you. It is what you want to be doing and should be doing. Having been a stay at home mom (thankfully) and a working mom, my vote is your children need you at every step along the way. Don't let someone else make you feel unfulfilled. Perhaps they are doing what's right for them, or meeting the expectations of others. You do what's right for you and your family. As Teresa says, when you have three there won't be any question. Love, Aunt Terri
Post a Comment