A girl.

I always wanted four children. I started having babies at 30 years old. I tried to plan it out just right - I'd have one at 30, 32, 34 and 36. The first three happened just that way. We planned this past year to try to get pregnant with the fourth in June. That happened just as we hoped also. Amazing. I do know what a blessing and miracle this is. I know so many women who really struggle to have children or to have them come when they hope for them. We were excited. I am so happy to have another baby. The day I took a pregnancy test I waited to tell Scott until he came home from work and found this surprise over his side of the bed - a Red Sox green monster mobile playing the tune "Take Me Out To The Ballgame". There was a positive pregnancy test dangling from the middle. 

We wanted this baby to be a boy so bad. Scott kept saying from the beginning that it was a girl and really was quite happy with that. I was FOR SURE that it was a boy. I wanted Zachary to have a brother. I wanted the two boys to share a room. I wanted to use Zachary's cute clothes again. I wanted someone for Zachary to wrestle with and play ball with. I desperately wanted to name a little boy "Luke".

My doctor has done a couple of ultrasounds and said the baby looked like a girl. The OFFICIAL 20 week ultrasound was this week. It was so cool. I had never seen images so clear. She went through every part of the body and everything looked just perfect - the brain, the spine, the face, the heart, the stomach, the kidneys. Yahoo! A healthy, growing baby.

She also determined, with no question, that this baby IS A GIRL!!! I was just fine in the ultrasound room because I was happy and excited to see a healthy baby moving around on the screen, but on the drive home and for most of the day, I cried. I really thought it was a boy. I felt so selfish being disappointed when so many people dream of having a healthy baby and can't, but I just was.

Thankfully, the Lord changed my heart and mind. Everyone had gone to bed, including Scott, and I was sitting on the couch by myself. It was quiet. I started to feel this baby kick and move around inside me and I was absolutely overwhelmed with love for this baby girl. I cried again, but because I felt so happy to have her. I was humbled. I knew that creating these lives is not up to me and my plans, but I am in this with God. He is sending me the child that is supposed to come to our family and I couldn't be more pleased.

Can't wait to meet baby Kate (or now Scott wants her to be "Molly"). Just look at that little face.